The Termigator
by Ruthie
Summary: SG-1 are in trouble. Captured and disarmed by Apophis, their future looks bleak until a tall, dark stranger wearing a black leather jacket and shades arrives, with a honkin' huge gun! Yes, it's TERMINATOR!
1. Default Chapter

Title: The Termigator  
  
Rating: PG-13 (Violence, Strong Language)  
  
Spoilers: Stargate: None, Terminator: All 3 of the films  
  
Archive: Heliopolis, Gateworld, Paradise Lost, Fanfiction.net, SJD yes, Jackfic  
  
Details: Terminator/Stargate SG-1 Crossover, Humour  
  
Summary: SG-1 are screwed. Captured and disarmed by Apophis, their future looks bleak until a tall, dark stranger wearing a black leather jacket and shades arrives, with a honkin' huge gun! Yes, it's TERMINATOR!   
  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.   
  
Obviously, 'Terminator' is a hugely successful film series and I have nothing to do with any of it. No money has exchanged hands, please don't sue me! It's not mine!  
  
~ The Termigator ~  
  
Copyright (c) 2003 Ruth  
  
**********  
  
"Sir, we're surrounded on all sides!"  
  
"Dammit! Freakin' Goa'uld snakeheads..."  
  
"Jack, this is not the time!"  
  
"Indeed, O'Neill, Doctor Jackson has a valid point. Your sarcastic comments will be of no use to us."  
  
"Teal'c!"  
  
"They're firing upon us, sir."  
  
"Fall back! Fall back!"  
  
SG-1 raced through the undergrowth away from the oncoming attack, being lashed at by weapons fire and rockets being launched from the array of ships.   
  
"In here!" Daniel shouted, and they raced into a cave.   
  
"Phew, that was close," said Jack, leaning against a wall.   
  
"On the contrary, you have failed!" said a horribly familiar voice.   
  
Jack wheeled around to see Apophis standing in front of him, with an evil smile on his face. Before they could do anything, SG-1 had been zatted and were being dragged towards Apophis ship...  
  
**********  
  
MAKE: T-1000  
  
SERIAL NUMBER: 83902 835 222  
  
CHOSEN WEAPONRY: AIR RIFLE, CHAINSAW, MACHINE GUN  
  
MISSION: ENSURE SURVIVAL OF SAMANTHA CARTER AND JACK O'NEILL  
  
CHOSEN METHOD OF TRANSPORT: PUSHBIKE  
  
**********  
  
"I need a new vehicle," the T-1000 moaned, as he rode his pushbike along the rough terrain of Apophis' home planet.   
  
  
  
**********  
  
When Jack woke up he found himself in a small room of Goa'uld design. Carter, Daniel and Teal'c were with him.   
  
"Daniel," he groaned, pulling himself into a sitting position, "Remind me to maim you if you try to lead me into a cave again."  
  
"It's not my fault!" Daniel said, sitting up and rubbing at a bruise on his forehead.   
  
"Daniel, you were the one that led us into that freakin' cave in the first place!"  
  
"You told me to look for cover!" Daniel protested.   
  
"Yes," Jack grouched, "But did you look inside, first? No, you didn't."  
  
"Arguing will not help us to escape, O'Neill," Teal'c pointed out.   
  
"Thanks for pointing that out, Teal'c."  
  
"It is not a problem, O'Neill."  
  
"Carter? You okay over there?" Jack asked, squinting at the other side of the room.   
  
"Fine, sir," she replied, "But my weapons are gone."  
  
"As are mine," Teal'c replied.   
  
"Agh, for crying out loud!"  
  
**********  
  
The T-1000 was riding his bike when he saw a jaffa ahead of him on a quadbike.   
  
Getting off of the pushbike and bending it into a boomerang shape, he threw it at the jaffa and knocked him off of the quadbike. Then, he ran up to it and jumped on.   
  
"This is a much more effective method of transport," he observed, before increasing his speed and nearing the fortress.   
  
**********  
  
"Okay, so we have no weapons, no way of escape, we're wounded...can anybody think of anything else that's gonna go wrong?" Jack asked.   
  
Sam thought for a moment. "Oh! Apophis is going to come in at any moment and torture us to death."  
  
Jack gave her a hard look. "It was a retororical question, Carter, don't you know anything?"  
  
"Actually sir, you mean rhetorical. One that you're not supposed to answer."  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Yes, sir?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
**********  
  
The T-1000 made his way closer to the fortress. He came under fire from neighbouring jaffa, and raised his machine gun.   
  
"Fuck you, assholes."  
  
He fired at the jaffa, which fell over like dominoes and toppled to the floor. One of them managed to stay alive, however, and managed to blow the T-1000's left ear off.   
  
With a grunt of annoyance, he fired a lethal blow at the offending jaffa.  
  
"Don't do that again!" he warned, picking up his ear and walking to the entrance of the fortress.   
  
**********  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Yes, sir? I'm sorry, I thought you told me to shut up, what can you possibly want to talk to me about?"  
  
"Did you...by any chance...set your video for The Simpsons? It's just, well....I forgot..."  
  
Sam didn't even bother to answer the question, Daniel did that for her.   
  
"Jack, Apophis is about to come in here and torture us to death slowly and painfully, we have no weapons and no way of escape, AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT VIDEOTAPING THE SIMPSONS?"  
  
"Cool it, Danny Boy. It's a good episode!"  
  
"O'Neill, it seems inappropriate that in a situation of such desperation you are concerned with the recording of a televised broadcast."  
  
"Teal'c?"  
  
"Yes, O'Neill?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
**********  
  
"We cannot permit you to enter, sir," the jaffa told him, looking with distaste at the ear in the T-1000's hand.   
  
"You will let me in," the T-1000 said calmly, attaching the ear back onto his head.   
  
"If the God Apophis does not grant you entrance you will be killed!"  
  
The T-1000 rolled his eyes, and blasted the crap out of the jaffa on guard duty.   
  
Then, he made his way inside the building.   
  
"I'll be back," he warned.   
  
**********  
  
"The female will come with us," the jaffa warned.   
  
"Oh yeah?" Jack asked, "Why don't you come in here and get her yourself, buddy?"  
  
The jaffa nodded, and his friend went in and dragged Sam out of the cell.   
  
"It had better have been a damned good episode, sir," Sam said, as she was dragged away down the corridor.   
  
**********  
  
Terminator walked slowly down the Goa'uld corridors, noting that they needed redecoration. Unfortunately, decorating wasn't one of his sub-routines so he could do nothing about it.   
  
He heard the clanking of metal footsteps behind him and turned around to be hit in the chest with a staff weapon.   
  
He frowned at the hole it made in his torso, and looked up at the jaffa.   
  
"This was new," he glowered, and emptied his machine-gun clip into them.   
  
**********  
  
"Samantha Carter. So nice to see you," Apophis smiled evilly, putting on his ribbon device and lowering it to her forehead. "You will tell me everything I need to know."  
  
"Fuck you!" she spat, wriggling away from him on the long table.   
  
"You cannot escape," he smiled, and activated the ring device.   
  
Just then, he heard the blasts of machine gun fire down the corridors and glared, lowering the device.   
  
Suddenly, the door burst inwards and a tall, well-built man was standing there.   
  
"Who are you?" Apophis said, raising his ribbon device to Terminator's forehead and activating it.   
  
Obviously, it had no effect. The T-1000 stood there for a few moments, but then he got bored, taking Apophis' hand in his and twisting roughly.   
  
"Fuck you, old man."  
  
Sam watched in bemusement as the man came over to her.   
  
"Samantha Carter?" he asked.   
  
"Um...yeah..." she said, watching Apophis sprawled and howling on the floor.   
  
Terminator did not introduce himself, he just picked Sam up and threw her over his shoulder. Then, he walked out of the room.   
  
**********  
  
"So..."  
  
"Apophis will currently be torturing Major Carter to death, O'Neill."  
  
"Thanks, Teal'c - I can always count on you to cheer me up in a bad situation."  
  
"It is not a problem, O'Neill."  
  
"Teal'c, I was being sarcastic."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
**********  
  
"Hey! Put me down! Sam yelled, pummelling Terminator with her fists.   
  
"Stop struggling," he ordered.   
  
"Who are you?" she shouted, "What do you want with me?"  
  
"I am the Terminator T-1000, serial number 83902 835 222. My mission is to ensure the survival of Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill."  
  
"Your mission? What? I mean, why? Why are me and Jack so important - why do we need to be saved?"  
  
"You are the saviours of the human race."  
  
"Of course we are."  
  
**********  
  
Jack almost shrieked as the door was blown inwards and a tall man stood in the entrance, with Sam thrown over his shoulder.   
  
"Jack O'Neill?" he asked.   
  
"Yeah," Jack replied, "Who's asking'?"  
  
The Terminator did not reply, he just pulled Jack over onto his other shoulder and walked out of the room, leaving Teal'c and Daniel to run behind him.   
  
"Hey! Put me down!" Jack squealed, pummelling Terminator with his fists.   
  
"Stop struggling!" he ordered.   
  
"Who are you?" he shouted, "What do you want with me?"  
  
Before Terminator could answer, Sam replied.  
  
"He's the Terminator T-1000, serial number 83902 835 222. His mission is to ensure the survival of Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill."  
  
"But...that's us."  
  
"I know that."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Apparently we're the saviours of the human race. "  
  
"Oh. General Hammond finally recognised our genius, then?"  
  
**********  
  
Terminator strode out of the fortress, dropping Jack into a puddle.  
  
"Hey! How come you didn't drop Sam in a puddle?" Jack whined, rubbing his butt.  
  
"It is impolite to drop females into dirty liquid," the Terminator replied, using his free arm to blast some more jaffa to hell with his machine gun.  
  
"Did ya consider that it's also impolite to haul them up over your shoulder and carry them around?" Jack asked.   
  
"We shall take this vehicle," Terminator announced, ignoring Jack and striding over to a Tel'tak.   
  
"You need to be able to fly that properly," Jack told him.   
  
Terminator just gave him a long, hard look.   
  
"Okay!" Jack held up his hands in remission, "You can fly it!"  
  
**********  
  
Inside the Tel'tak, Terminator was flying them away from Apophis's fortress.   
  
"So...how come me and Sam are the saviours of the human race?" Jack asked.   
  
Daniel rolled his eyes.   
  
"You are the only two humans to survive Judgement Day."  
  
"Judgement Day? Isn't that a film?" Jack wondered aloud.  
  
"Hold on!" said Daniel worriedly, "You mean, everyone else is gonna die?"  
  
"Yes. Everyone except for Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Urm...what is this Judgement Day, anyway?"  
  
"The battle between humans and machines," Terminator said, veering to the left to avoid being smashed to pieces by an asteroid.   
  
"Oooookay." Daniel was now seriously freaked out.   
  
"Your children will re-form the human race," Terminator added.   
  
Sam paled, and Daniel screamed.  
  
"Nnnooooo! The human race is DOOMED!"  
  
"Shut up, Danny, at least I survive!" Jack bragged.   
  
"Yeah, but how do you think the human race will manage with a whole population of Simpsons-loving, Russians-hating humans? It won't work, Jack!"  
  
He shrugged. "Some of them will be like Carter, too. You know, maybe half and half?"  
  
Sam choked. "I am not giving birth to an entire race of people, Jack O'Neill, I don't care if they're all dead!"  
  
"Don't be like that, Sam!" Jack smiled, "It could be fun."  
  
"Fun? FUN? Oh, it's easy for you to say!"  
  
Terminator agreed with her. "You do have an extremely minimal part in the proceedings."  
  
"Okay," said Daniel, "Can we stop talking about this, RIGHT NOW? I think I'm gonna barf..."  
  
"Me too!" Sam agreed.   
  
"It is your destiny," Terminator said, bringing the Tel'tak down in front of the Stargate.   
  
As they descended from the Tel'tak, they looked back up at the T-1000.   
  
"Thanks," Sam said.   
  
Terminator smiled, and slipped his shades back on.   
  
"I'll be back."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	2. Termigator 2: Jello Day

Title: Termigator 2: Jello Day  
  
Rating: PG-13 (Violence, Strong Language)  
  
Spoilers: Stargate: None, Terminator: All 3 of the films  
  
Archive: Heliopolis, Gateworld, Paradise Lost, Fanfiction.net, SJD yes, Jackfic  
  
Details: Terminator/Stargate SG-1 Crossover, Humour  
  
Summary: The T-1000 is sent back through time to steal all of Jack's jello, making him miserable for eternity, so it's up to the T-101 to save the jello (and Jack's sanity.)   
  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.   
  
Obviously, 'Terminator' is a hugely successful film series and I have nothing to do with any of it. No money has exchanged hands, please don't sue me! It's not mine!  
  
~ Termigator 2: Jello Day ~  
  
Copyright (c) 2003 Ruth   
  
**********  
  
Jack pulled a carton of jello from the fridge and inspected it. Once he had decided that it was suitable, he realised that it was blue - Sam's favourite.   
  
"Ugh," he commented, putting it back and pulling out a green one.   
  
"Ah, sweet nectar," he replied, picking up a plastic fork and preparing to take a bite.   
  
Suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the commissary and a naked dude was standing in the middle of the room with a rocket launcher.   
  
"Aaaaggghh!" Jack squealed, in both fear and disgust, as the air conditioning was on.  
  
He turned and looked at Jack. "Enjoy that jello - it will be your last."  
  
Then, he calmly walked over and blew out the jello cabinet with his rocket launcher.   
  
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Siler screamed, "THE YOGHURT!"  
  
A huge piece of lemon pie hit him in the face and he fell on the floor, screeching in pain.   
  
The T-1000 then calmly walked over to Jack, ripped his clothes off, put them on and jumped out of the window.   
  
Jack was then left standing in the middle of the wrecked commissary with his 007 boxer shorts on.   
  
Sam walked in, took one look at Jack and the rest of the room, and fainted. When she woke up she explained to Janet that the sight of Siler on the floor, screaming as lemon curd dripped into his eye, the wrecked commissary and Jack in 007 boxer shorts with jello smeared on his face like war paint was enough to make anybody faint.   
  
**********  
  
Meanwhile, the T-1000 had stolen a flymo and was very, very slowly making his way towards the jello factory, being chased by T-1s that were even slower than he, which was quite an achievement.  
  
**********  
  
Jack sat in the infirmary, looking at his cup of jello and deliberating whether to eat it or not. He decided that he would and swallowed it in one go, ignoring the screaming that came from Siler's cubicle as Janet washed the lemon curd and biscuit base out of his eyes.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
Sam gave him a funny look, and Jack replied:  
  
"What? It's comfort food," and he gave an almighty belch that rocked the infirmary and nearly drowned out Siler's screaming, which was quite an achievement.  
  
**********  
  
The T-1000 continued his journey towards the jello factory on board the flymo, disgusted at the lack of acceleration.   
  
**********  
  
Sam was at home, recovering from the shock of that morning's incident.   
  
Schroedinger sat on her lap, purring. She turned on the television and tried to get the image of Jack in 007 boxer shorts out of her mind. It was not easy.   
  
Schroedinger suddenly leapt out of her arms and went over to the back door.   
  
"Schroedinger, what is it?" she asked.   
  
She was about to get up when she heard the sound of glass smashing and Schroedinger's alarmed mewing.   
  
She stood up and went over to the glass, to be met with a familiar face.   
  
"Hello," it said.   
  
"Terminator?" she asked.   
  
"Yes. Although I would like to clear something up. In 'The Termigator' I said that I was the T-1000, which is bollocks. I am actually the T-101, and our new enemy is the T-1000."  
  
"Oh. Thanks for clearing that up," she said.   
  
"Samantha Carter, you and Jack O'Neill must survive the Jello Day."  
  
"Jello day?"  
  
"The T-1000 has been sent back through time to destroy all of the jello in the world so that Jack will fall into a state of depression and will not survive Judgement day. This cannot be allowed to happen."  
  
"I see. Um...where's my cat?"  
  
"This creature?" he asked, holding a very terrified looking Schroedinger in his hand.  
  
"Yeah. Um, just put him down on the floor."  
  
Terminator opened his hand and Schroedinger jumped onto the couch and hid behind a cushion.   
  
"We must get to the jello factory," he said, "Do you have a method of effective transport?"  
  
"Well, I only have my bike..." she began, but he nodded his head in approval.   
  
"A motorbike? I am impressed."  
  
With some difficulty, they both got on the bike and headed for the jello factory, in pursuit of the flymo-riding T-1000.   
  
**********  
  
Jack found himself sinking into depression. Janet had got him some fresh clothes, but the fact that there was no jello left was making him feel terrible.   
  
Worse, even, than Siler, who was finally recovering from having lemon curd in his eye.   
  
He wondered where Sam had gone. He needed to know that she was okay.   
  
**********  
  
She was perfectly fine. Terminator (the T-101, not the T-1000) had given her a gun to hold on the back of the bike, preparing to fire upon the T-1s. They were much larger and a lot clumsier than the other models, making it harder for them to move around.   
  
"There is one, now, opposite Burger King," the Terminator said, pulling in and going after the T-1.   
  
Sam took aim and fired at it, and the poor robot's head exploded in a ball of fire.   
  
"Your order, please?" a greasy-faced teenager asked.   
  
"Two hamburgers," Terminator said, "Industrial size."  
  
"Come on round," the teenager said.   
  
"We've got to save the world from Jello day and you're buying hamburgers?" Sam asked.   
  
"They are weaponry, not for consumption."  
  
"Ah, I see."  
  
**********  
  
Jack wandered around the SGC, asking everybody if they had any jello.   
  
Unfortunately, everybody was fresh out, and the commissary weren't expecting any more for another week.   
  
He went into his office and found his Gameboy. Happily, he switched it on, but the batteries died after a few seconds.   
  
"D'oh!"  
  
**********  
  
Sam and Terminator could now see the T-1000 on his flymo.   
  
"Get down," Terminator ordered, pulling his arm back and throwing one of the hamburgers at him.   
  
It passed straight through his head.  
  
"Damn. I forgot. The T-1000 is made of liquid metal. Now we are fucked."  
  
Fortunately, the hamburger went straight through his head and landed in front of the flymo, breaking it and exploding in a ball of fire.   
  
"American junk food," Terminator muttered, looking at the other burger in his hand.   
  
Unfortunately, the T-1000 was a lot more durable than the flymo and he began to run towards them.   
  
"Excuse me," the Terminator said, sticking a greenade in the hamburger and getting off of the bike.   
  
The T-1000 screeched at him and lunged.   
  
"Eat this," Terminator suggested, stuffing the hamburger in his mouth and running back to the bike, taking off at the highest speed possible.   
  
They were just a few meters away when the T-1000 exploded.   
  
"Ouch," Terminator commented, jumping off of the bike and helping Sam off of it.   
  
"You saved us again," she said. "Thanks. Oh, I'll take this jello back for Jack."  
  
"I'll be back, Samantha Carter," he smiled, putting his shades back on and riding off.   
  
"HEY! That's my bike!"  
  
**********  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	3. Termigator 3: Rise of the Mohicans

Title: Termigator 3: Rise of the Mohicans  
  
Rating: PG-13 (Violence, Strong Language)  
  
Spoilers: Stargate: None, Terminator: All 3 of the films  
  
Archive: Heliopolis, Gateworld, Paradise Lost, Fanfiction.net, SJD yes, Jackfic  
  
Details: Terminator/Stargate SG-1 Crossover, Humour  
  
Summary: The T-X is sent to shave off Jack's hair, making him unattractive. Will the T-101 arrive in time to prevent a massive disaster?   
  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.   
  
Obviously, 'Terminator' is a hugely successful film series and I have nothing to do with any of it. No money has exchanged hands, please don't sue me! It's not mine!  
  
~ Termigator 3: Rise of the Mohicans ~  
  
Copyright (c) 2003 Ruth   
  
**********  
  
The T-X drove through Minnesota in her jaguar, scanning through her list of targets.  
  
PRIMARY TARGET: JACK O'NEILL  
  
SECONDARY TARGETS: SERGEANT SILER, MAJOR DAVIS, MAJOR FERETTI, SAMANTHA CARTER  
  
Obviously her main goal was to give Jack a mohican, but any of the others would do for the time being.   
  
**********  
  
Jack sat in the commissary with Sam, digging into his third cup of jello.   
  
"Glad you saved the world again with Terminator," he smiled, spooning it in.   
  
"No problem. The T-1000 proved to be a formidable target, but he chose the wrong vehicle. A flymo."   
  
"You know, for supposedly advanced machines, they can be a bit thick."  
  
"The T-101 stole my motorbike," Sam said, watching as Siler entered the commissary and got himself a yoghurt.  
  
"Ah, well. You'll get it back when the next mass catastrophe occurs."  
  
**********  
  
The T-X put on her air force uniform and made her way to Sergeant Siler's quarters.  
  
She smiled as her hand turned into an electric shaver, and she tested that it worked properly. Then, she entered the room.  
  
"Oh, hi," said Siler, "Can I help you?"  
  
"Sergeant Siler?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah? Wha - AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"  
  
Siler screamed as the T-X shaved his hair off.  
  
**********  
  
"Oh my God!" said Sam, standing up as Siler walked into her lab with a mohican.   
  
"Sam..you've got to help me!" he said.  
  
"Siler, wha - AAAAAGGGHHH!"  
  
Sam screamed as a woman with blonde hair and an electric shaver for a hand stood behind her.   
  
She ran out of her lab but the woman was still hot on her heels.  
  
The T-X was pursuing Samantha Carter when another of her secondary targets was sighted - Major Davis. She stopped running after Sam and quickly changed her hand into an electric shaver again. Then, she followed him into his office.   
  
"Lieutenant?" he asked, curious as to what she was doing in his office.   
  
"Major Davis?"  
  
"Yes. What are you - AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"  
  
Major Davis screamed as the T-X shaved his hair off.   
  
**********  
  
Sam ran down the corridor and into the control room, where the gate was being activated from offworld.   
  
"Close the Iris!" General Hammond ordered, looking in disgust at Siler's hair.  
  
Or, more accurately, lack of hair.   
  
"Iris is closed," he said.   
  
The gate opened, and they could hear the roar of an engine.   
  
Terminator rode straight through the iris on Sam's motorbike and brought it to a halt on the ramp.   
  
"Stand down!" Sam ordered, running into the gateroom to greet him.   
  
"Samantha Carter, I am afraid that Jack O'Neill and yourself are in danger again."  
  
"I know - I was just chased by this woman with an electric shaver for a hand."  
  
"The T-X." Terminator muttered grimly.   
  
"What does she want?"  
  
"This is judgement day - the rise of the Mohicans," he said seriously. "The T-X is determined to give Jack O'Neill a Mohican so that you will find him unattractive and you will not survive judgement day together. I cannot permit this to happen."  
  
"What are we going to do? She's already got to Sergeant Siler."  
  
"She has a list of secondary targets. There are four, including you. Jack O'Neill is her primary target. We must protect him."  
  
"Sure. Oh, thanks for bringing my bike back."  
  
"No problem."  
  
**********  
  
Sam ran into the commissary and grabbed Jack by the hand, biting back a scream as she saw Major Davis with his hair shaved off.   
  
"Jack, we've got to go!"  
  
"Nooo," he moaned, reaching for his jello.   
  
At that moment, the T-X entered the commissary and whirred the electric shaver mercilessly.   
  
"AAAAGGGHHH!" Sam screamed, hauling Jack up out of the chair and starting to run, followed closely by the T-X.  
  
They met Feretti in the corridor.   
  
"FERETTI, RUN!" Sam yelled, as the T-X came around the corner.   
  
"Wha- AAAAGGGHHH!"  
  
They heard Feretti's scream as the T-X shaved his hair off.  
  
**********  
  
Sam and Jack kept on running, but to their despair, they came to a dead end.   
  
Sam stood protectively in front of Jack, who was whimpering and cowering in a corner.   
  
The T-X smiled and advanced towards them, the shaver whirring dangerously.   
  
Sam tried to fight back, slamming her fist into the woman's face and almost breaking her hand.   
  
"Agh!"  
  
The T-X smiled, picked Sam up and threw her at the ceiling, so that she landed with a thud on the floor behind her.   
  
"Sam!" Jack shouted.   
  
The T-X turned back towards him and advanced with the shaver. Before he knew what had happened, she had shaved off one of his hairs.   
  
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, "I'M A FFFRRRRREEEEEAAAAAKKKKK!"  
  
She was about to finish the job when Terminator rounded the corner and fired at her, blowing a hole in her midsection.   
  
Jack expected her to fall back, but the T-X merely sighed and turned around, blowing Terminator's ear off.   
  
"Don't do that!" he shouted, picking up his ear and putting it in his pocket.   
  
He pulled out a machine gun and advanced towards the T-X, grabbing hold of her arm and slamming her onto the floor.   
  
"Go!" he shouted to Jack, who pulled Sam into his arms and ran down the corridor.   
  
**********  
  
Jack ran down the corridor with Sam cradled in his arms, and shrieked when a nearly bald Feretti approached him.   
  
"You should get one, Jack. The mohicans are rising."  
  
"Feretti, get out of my way," he warned.   
  
Feretti produced a shaver and switched it on, his eyes blazing.   
  
"AAAAGGGHHHH!" Jack yelled, and ran off down a different corridor.   
  
**********  
  
The T-X was still proving to be more evil than Terminator. She kicked him in the face and his head fell off.   
  
Sighing in exasperation, he picked his head up and put it back on.   
  
"Don't do that!" he roared, pulling a greenade out of his pocket and jamming it in her mouth.   
  
She tried to spit it out but it got stuck, she looked at him fiercely.   
  
"Consider yourself terminated," he replied, as her head exploded in a ball of fire.   
  
**********  
  
Terminator made his way back to the infirmary, where Janet was looking after Sam.  
  
"The T-X is terminated," he said, taking his head off and putting it back on more straight.   
  
"I...uh...I have a band aid for that," Janet said.   
  
"Thank you," he replied, "How is she?"  
  
"She's okay - just a broken wrist, arm and leg, you know, nothing much."  
  
"She will survive?" Terminator asked, taking the band-aid that Janet offered him.   
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then my work is done. I'll be back, though."  
  
"You betcha," Jack grinned.   
  
THE END...FOR NOW 


End file.
